The Pink Cloud Was Never the Problem

What They Called Dangerous, I Called Home

 

In the rooms they warn you: “Don’t fall for the pink cloud.”

But no one ever tells you that the real danger is losing faith in the healing itself…

 

You would never know by looking at a jar of whipped tallow that it was born from survival. That the hands that crafted it once trembled with the weight of assault, abuse, addiction—and redemption.

You would never know... unless I told you.

Pink Cloud Naturals was never meant to be just another skincare brand. In fact, it was never really meant to be, at all. Yet it ended up becoming a map back to myself. A rebellion you might say, against the systems that broke me. A quiet offering to every woman who’s ever wondered if healing was still possible. I’m here to tell you—it is.

To them, Pink Cloud was something to fear.
To me, it became something to redeem.

They warned me not to fall for it, not to chase the pink cloud… so naturally, I gravitated towards it. I had to figure out why. Why was everyone so scared of it?

When I landed, I realized: the pink cloud was never the problem.
Their fear of it was.
I saw their pink cloud completely different.
Mine was a second chance at life. It was God’s gentle nudge, a tangible “I see you, child. Welcome home. Now, don’t let go.”

Where they saw danger, I saw deliverance.
Where they feared fleeting joy, I found everlasting hope.

I started experiencing it, and it was exactly what they said it was—at first. I started seeing clearly for the first time in, I can’t even tell you how long. I saw the world—His world—with joy, excitement, and a soul on fire. Why? Because when you finally surrender your life, your plans, all of it over to the Lord, He doesn't abandon you.

They call it dangerous. They say it fades, that “short period of time following detoxification when you’re supremely motivated to continue with recovery…” But who says it has to be short-lived? Why can’t the pink cloud become the permanent new atmosphere of a surrendered life?

Our thoughts, our minds, they shape our reality.
Supreme motivation, hope, clarity—these aren’t "dangerous symptoms."

They’re the exact fuel God gives to rebuild.

“Don’t fall for the pink cloud,” they said. They say it’s dangerous because it ignores the fact that recovery is a process—often a lifelong one—that needs constant attention and work. And while this might be true, do you mean to tell me that hope, happiness, devotion—those things are all dangerous?

“The problem is, relapse is always a possibility, and the pink cloud is a short-term feeling,” they say. Well yes, but car accidents are also a possibility. Should we all just drop our main form of transportation because of this chance?

“The optimism of the pink cloud can fade quickly when the stresses and realities of daily life return and post-sobriety elation dissipates into thin air,” they follow up with.
This here.
This is the problem.

The world says there’s a possibly that you could return to your old life. But we as believers know, there is no returning to how things used to be.

To truly surrender means you crucify your sins—your addictions. As Christians, we are not meant to be of this world.
Live in it?
Sure.
Align with it?
No.

When you are truly ready to lay down your cross—to put down the bottle—you have to realize, your old life is gone.
The old you is dead.

I’m not me anymore.

There is no returning to how things used to be. You see everything different—from a new perspective.

I was finally awake.

Hope, happiness, devotion, they aren't dangerous—sin is.

The system fears hope because hope is uncontrollable.
Hope leads to actual freedom, not dependence on a program.

Relapse is a possibility—so is a car accident.

Possibility is not destiny.
Caution does not have to override calling.

Returning to your old life? That’s a myth.

There is no going back.
When you are truly crucified with Christ, you don't hold on to the pieces.
You bury it.

Leaving the systems that glorify death cycles, that is true awakening.

In all reality, I couldn't even go back to the corporate, legal world I called my career for the last decade, because it wasn't just a lifestyle I left behind.
It was a worldview.
It was slavery.

As I settled into my new home, having just relocated for what I thought was my dream job—this is it. I made it… Or so I thought.

Until I heard His voice whisper, “This isn’t for you anymore.”

I knew exactly what He meant. What had to be done.
There was no more living with one foot dipped in the world.

It was time to lay it all down.

In early recovery, there were entire evenings where I didn’t know what to do with my hands.

The wine was gone.
The false comfort was gone.
And I was living hundreds of miles away from my family and friends.

So, I did what my hands hadn’t done in a while: I created instead of consumed.

Detoxification comes at you fast. It takes a toll on your body—your skin. I learned to render tallow because my skin—like my heart—was desperate for something real.

No medicated topicals.
No quick fixes.
Just slow, ancient healing.
Something breathable. Something alive.

As my body sweated out what had almost destroyed me, He began rebuilding the ruins with linen, herbs, and quiet rendering.

Pink Cloud Naturals didn’t come from a business plan.
It came from redemption.

Tallow isn’t random — it was an answer.

Learning to render tallow wasn’t just a hobby. It was a lifeline. A replacement for a destructive ritual with a healing one.

My skin’s turmoil mirrored my internal detox. My body, my mind, my spirit—all unlearning at the same time.

Natural healing wasn’t trendy for me. I had to claw my way out of the destruction I had created.

But truthfully, I wasn’t starting from scratch. Before I ever got sober, I was already living differently.
Raw milk.
Grass-fed beef.
Regenerative farms.

Deep nutrition that spoke the language my body had forgotten.

But alcohol starves even the best-fed bodies. When your system is constantly fighting to clear poison, it never gets the chance to heal.
Sobriety didn’t fix me overnight.
But it did finally give me access to the pieces I had been collecting for years.

 

So, Pink Cloud Naturals wasn’t a beginning.
It was the resurrection of a life no one thought would survive.

Because I didn’t just survive the pink cloud—He rewrote it for me.

Pink Cloud Naturals wasn't born because I chased a fantasy. It was born because I rejected the lie that true healing was out of reach.

Pink Cloud was built because I actually did what they told me was impossible: I laid it all down. I started to heal.
Not through the broken systems we’re told to blindly follow. Not through managed sobriety or rehabilitation plans. Through actual, cellular, sacred-level restoration.

 

That truth you feel stirring inside you right now. That’s the countercultural gospel truth that absolutely wrecks the survivalist mentality the world pushes onto us.

 

So, no, Pink Cloud Naturals was never supposed to exist, not in their eyes.
But it does exist. It exists because I didn’t let go.
It exists because supreme motivation to heal—and stay healed—isn’t something we should fear.

It’s something we should build entire lives on.

 

After the Cloud is the next chapter.
No one prepared you for this, because the world never thought you’d survive long enough to live it.

But you will—
when you anchor yourself to the hope they said was too risky.

Because in my story, “After the Cloud” isn’t about losing hope. It’s about what happens when hope plants itself so deep it changes everything it touches.

It's a place.
It's a life.
It’s where He meets you when you’re finally ready to step out of the world.
It's a story still unfolding.

 

And it’s only just beginning.